I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to masturbate when I have related myself as "not good enough" within my appearance, who I am in relationship to women, or within a point that I have made relavent towards women.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to draw attention to these insecurities that I initially have of myself, such as appearance, to where I then create the idea, that the only way I will feel better about myself, is by masturbating to women within the context that the women that I aTRACT myself towards in my mind, will give me the feeling of security.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus be willing to base my relationship with women, off of wanting them to have sex with me out of the intention of wanting to feel secure about myself, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abuse my relationship with women, within the acceptance and allowance of being dictated by my own insecurities.
When and as I see myself going into patterns of giving attention to insecurities, tot he point of wanting to suppress my own self inflicted judgements, through the images of having sex with women, or specific women, I stop, I breath, and I pin point the behaviors I participate in, which feed the accumulation towards wanting to masturbate.
I commit myself to redefine my relationship with women, and with masturbation within deconstructing compulsive behaviors that I use to feed insecurities, and to suppress facing these insecurities, which lead me to the point of using women and masturbating tot he images of women as a void.
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