I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to have defined myself in and as words of who I am as self image, to when facing such extensive points, eventually going into the temptation/act of masturbation, to relieve the work needed to walk through these points of self judgements, ideas, definitions.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself within the polarities of "I'm sexy" or "I'm ugly"/getting fat/need to fix how I look. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feed the voids of myself within wanting to fulfill the idea of myself, through masturbation, through wanting a magical experience, not seeing and realizing, that there is no quick fix to walking the process of self, and thus, within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to verify and place myself trapped in the realm of wanting to feel, wanting to succeed a satisfactory outcome, self interest.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus masturbate, as a point of sabotaging those relationships I initially walked through, within not being willing to fully walk through relationships, self judgements, polarities and ideas of self.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feed the inner demons/possessions of myself, where I try to hold on to that self image, hold onto the idea that "I'm sexy" or "I'm ugly"/getting fat/need to fix how I look, not understanding the consequences of instability I create when trying to heal my conscious points of myself, trying to verify the existence within and as what I've accepted and allowed as myself.
When and as I see myself wanting to masturbate, as an attempt to time loop these points of self image, I stop, I breath, I fully see what I was initially supporting myself with, and I then walk back to the point in which I had fallen, and within fully considering the consequences, go back to what I was doing, or if spotting a clear point, write it out, and then go back to what I was doing here.
I see and realize, that it cannot get anywhere when participating in fueling energy deliberately, and that the only actual way of walking through these polarity points, is through breathing, and directing myself with the physical. Thus, when and as I see myself potentially in the point of masturbating, I stop, I breath, I do not resist, but however move myself with masturbating back to here, meaning: I do not need to masturbate, but I investigate how I'm touching my penis, I see where I abusively hold it, or how I'm moving myself, why, and then eventually stop, breath, and go back to what I was doing before/supporting myself with.
I commit myself to face these relationships I deliberately attempted to sabotage, and to walk through them next time I face masturbation again, and along the way, to remain self supportive, to remain self aware, and to do what's best for all within considering the consequences of participating in experiences like masturbating.
I commit myself to face these conscious points in which I've accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the creation of these points, and to build a stance and grounding of integrity to not further deliberately feed these points, and being self aware of all aspects within debunking these points, including masturbation.
